Autumn Night

The first one is a hidden message from Denney, the last one a nice Alien display in western Ohio. the middle one? I was bored...it's of my shoes.

I want to smoke, but I don't. I want to go to this show or that, yet I don't. I nap instead. Instead I smile at people, then feel silly and creepy. I must look sad or angry -- I have no clue, I am clueless.
I am at the computer lab, smiling at people. I realize my lips are probably chapped and my mouth is that weird kind of dry where it is sticky and awkward. My eyes feel like it's sunny even though I am in the basement; my hair is stingy.
I glance at him and as his eyes turn to me I try to look cool and interested in what is on my screen -- it's just igoogle -- and I tug at my shirt. I cough my smokers cough and try to glance at him with out being noticed. It would be the worst thing in the world right now if he caught me. He notices. I try to smile, yet the motion is alien. What I end up with is a grimace.
My saunter -- which is actually a weird waddle/shimmy -- takes me to the printer. He comes up from behind which is the most unlikely and unexpected thing in the world to me. Someone laughs somewhere. He says "hi" with a slight smile. My grimace returns, and my answer is short and my voice fails me when I need it the most.
I go home and text my boyfriend.

I was driving back from a weekend at my friend's place, and there was a beautiful sunset. I know that I and my measly Blackberry Pearl camera cannot do it justice, but I sure can try!

Oh what a week.

Today ended the first of five tough weeks. I am taking summer quarter classes, and am doing it in a half-quarter condensing 10 weeks of content down into 5 weeks. I didn't know what I was getting into, and it should prove to be a challenge. But, I need it -- I need to push myself, to better realize my potential, and my limits.

I try to unwind. My shower seems to be so temperamental. Some days it can't get hot enough, and others like tonight, it could hardly get cool enough.

As my muscles and nerves unclench, I start to feel worse. I think the tightened muscles mask the pain of life that might otherwise might not be so bad. My instincts tell me to not relax, it would feel better that way. But I know that I have to endure through it to feel truly better.

It is late, and I have things to do before I can go to bed. I hope I can sleep in -- I probably won't be able to.

Michael Jackson is dead. It was a surreal moment when I heard this getting on the bus to return home this afternoon. His scandals are sad because they overshadowed the last years of his life. However, it is undeniable his influence and his talent. he will be missed.

So will Farrah Fawcett. I am not so familiar with her career or her struggle, but it is so sad to see her go.

A T-Rex trying fervently and futilely to suck the maple syrup out of Bobby Hill. Theres just too much. Bobby doesn't seem to mind, and I find it hilarious. My SL companions don't seem to notice, nor would they care. Curious that they are all in the same place in person, seems completely unremarkable. The T-Rex is a liquid being now, comprised of watermellon gumballs which can come apart and back together again. I don't think this will help with the Hill kid, and he still doesnt seem to mind, if he notices at all. My friend urgently needs my attention, and my body. She is like a child and an adult all at once, probably because I met her between the two. Stray is DJing and serving drinks, Jasmine is around here somewhere, there is even a sad club underneath. The movies let out a while ago, no wait I snuck out. Can't remember why. I can't find my way out of here. Part of this story is backwards. I hope I'm not caught. Robert won't be pleased, but I don't care. Its my life. At the end of it all, just like other mornings, I'm being told that its time to go, and in fact I have awoken late.

Well, I just thought this might be a good and simple outlet for blogging. I've tried xanga (too complicated) and myspace (good for being connected but not anonymous enough) and now I have found myself here. I have to run to class, but I will return.